Another Live Show About Marriage
In this episode of the ILM Show I go into some of comments that came on my website. There were three in particular that really struck a cord with me.
One of the questions was about making decisions. A young Muslim woman was in a career field that she wasn’t sure she wanted to be in. There was nothing wrong with her career from an Islamic point of view. In fact, her career choice is vital for the Muslim community.
However, her heart just wasn’t into it. She began to wonder if it was time for her to make a change. Also, she wanted to know if her decision was in line with Allah’s decree.
This prompted me to talk about Istikhaarah. It was time for her to look deep into herself, do the work that was needed, and find out what she really wanted to do.
The other story I talked about was an email from a Muslim woman who said her husband didn’t appreciate her. Unfortunately, she did not go in enough detail for me to give her specific advice. Instead, I just talked about appreciating spouses in general.
Basically, we have to recognize the difference between what we learn to expect from our spouses after years of marriage and ingratitude.
There is a difference.
Suppose for example, my wife made my coffee every morning for the first fourteen years of our marriage. I never asked her to. She never made a fuss about it. She just did it.
Then suddenly, in our fifteenth year of marriage, she decided to stop making my coffee (for the record, I like brewing my own coffee; I’m a stickler for coffee). Wouldn’t this throw me in a loop?
I’ve come to expect something from my wife after many years of marriage. Perhaps I don’t thank her enough, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate her. It just means I’ve gotten used to it.
However, if I insulted my wife’s coffee, and said she didn’t know what she was doing, and said all sorts of bad things, now that’s different. That’s beyond ingratitude. That’s downright condescension and perhaps even verbal or emotional abuse.
If you’re experiencing those kind of problems, then your marriage is certainly unhealthy.
Listen to the ILM Show below. You can download it straight from this site, or you can subscribe on iTunes and Windows.
By the way, this will probably be the last live ILM show for a while. I need to get some better equipment. However, the podcast will continue weekly, Inshallah.