We should all ponder on what Dawkins wrote:
“there’s all the difference in the world between a belief that one is prepared to defend by quoting evidence and logic, and a belief that is supported by nothing more than tradition, authority or revelation.”

Once, because I was procrastinating in answering a lot of comments that were being held for moderation. But seeing your comment has given me the needed motivation to answer everyone’s comments.

And the second thanks because you’ve given me a great concept for my next article. So I will respond to your comment, in full, on Thursday, April 19, 2012 by 11:00 am Eastern Standard Time.

Unless, of course, Allah does not allow it.

Apparently Allah has allowed it. My response can be found here.

Please see this video I made on istikhaarah.

You’re welcome! May Allah reward you.

You are correct that many people, Muslims included, are not able to accept destiny (Qadr). Accepting Qadr is very beneficial and will help us become better Muslims.

As for men with low sperm count, even though that is Allah’s Qadr, it is acceptable for us to seek medical means to correct things like this. You are correct that it is wrong to blame the women all the time when it may not be their fault at all. For things like this, it is wrong to blame anyone; we should just accept it as the Qadr of Allah.

However, we can take practical, Islamic steps to correct certain issues so long as they do not violate any of the commandments in Islam.

thank you

Dear Sister Aida,

Accidentally, I happen to read your situation, & I couldn’t stop myself writing a message to you. (hope it`s not so late)
PS”I hope my mail will be helpful for you, whatever I present is only to serve for you as reference, the final decision is YOURS”

I heard from lots of people (relatives, friends), they do offer 2 rakat of Salah which is called Istikhara, when they are in dilenma and/or when they don`t know which one to choose between 2 choices. So I thought this will be helpful for you too inshaAllah.

WHAT IS SALAT UL ISTIKHARA?
Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 2, number 32 and volume 4, number 141.
Often, we have to make major life-changing decisions: whether to undertake a major project or not, whether to apply for a promotion or not, whether to change career or not, whether to invest in a certain company or not, whether to get married or not, whom to get married to, etc.

Istikhara (Arabic) means to ask Allah to guide one to the right thing concerning any affair in one’s life, especially when one has to choose between two permissible alternatives, e.g. a career choice, getting married, etc. And The istikhara prayer is a prayer through which one seeks Allah to guide one, through the outplaying of destiny as it unfolds, towards that which is best.

Sa’ d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Istikharah (seeking guidance from Allah) is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah (seeking Allah’s guidance), and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the judgment of Allah.” Ibn Taimiyyah said, “He who seeks guidance from the Creator and consults the creatures will never regret it.”

So, We as a humans are weak and we usualy dont know what`s THE BEST for us. What we think might be the BEST for you NOW but not enternally. The Creator knows what is THE BEST for us enternally for our lives, family and hereafter.
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Istikhara for Marriage
When one desires to make istikhara for marriage, then keep the person in mind whem making niyah. Then do wudhu and perform Salaat. Then praise Allah, mention His Greatness and plead:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُالْغُيُوبِ ، فَإِنْ رَأَيْتَ أَنَّ فِي فُلَانَةِ خَيْرَاً لِي فِي دِينِي وَدُنْيَايَ وَآخِرَتِي فَاقْدُرْهَا لِي وَإِنْ كَانَ غَيْرُهَا خَيْرٌ مِنْهَا لِي فِي دِينِي وَآخِرَتِي فَاقْدُرْهَا لِي

“O Allah, You have power (control) and I have no control and You know and I do not know, and You know the condition of the Unseen. Thus if You see (deem fit) that this woman (here mention her name) is good for me concerning my Deen, world and Akhirah then grant me her control (make it possible that I marry her) and if besides her there be (another woman) which is better for me concerning Deen and Akhirah then specify her for me (grant me control over he)”.

May Allah guide us into right path and gives us the right partner in the life inshaAllah.

Please forgive if i said something wrong or unrelevant to your situation, All I wanted to share some useful information. Whatever good in this message is with my pure intention for the sake Creator and whatever bad in this message is from Shaytan.

PS” Once again, whatever I present is only to serve for you as reference, the final decision is YOURS

Wa Alaykum Assalamu wa rahmatullahu wa barakatuh

Alhamdulillah. If you get any benefit from these articles, all praises are due to Allah. Please let me know if you see any mistakes or if I could do a better job with anything.

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m going to give you a brief answer here, for the benefit of others who may read this post. But I’d rather communicate with you directly as your situation appears to require a more detailed response. Look out for an email from me with my thoughts, Inshallah.

There are a several issues that need to be dealt with.

First, from what you’ve written here, you seemed to want to do good deeds in order to receive reward in this life. That is the wrong attitude to have with your actions. You should do them to please Allah and earn reward in the next life.

Second, you can’t assume such things as having a “contract” with Allah. Allah has mentioned in His book that He promises us that if we do righteous deeds and seek His forgiveness, then He will forgive us and admit us to Heaven. That is about the only contract we can definitely say that we have with Allah. So be careful about saying things about Allah that you don’t have knowledge of. I am not saying this to be harsh; I’m saying this because many people follow this same thinking (I may have fallen into it myself at times).

Instead, do what is right and worship Allah alone for his sake. Make dua to Him for those things you want and be patient with His decree.

I’ll send you a more complete response via email soon, Inshallah.

I do agree with you, it is awful that it still exists in this day and age especially when the quran states not to discriminate against race. I also really would like to avoid upsetting my family but their beliefs are going against everything I understand about Islam.

My dad passed away when I was young so my oldest brother would be my wali. When this man called my brother to discuss marriage my brothers response was “i am not intersted , please do not call me again” without knowing a single thing about him. Other family members have met him including my mother and 2nd eldest brother that went to the mosque with him and had a chat. Not one person has come back to me and said anything bad about him. They are all scared to go against my oldest brother so will not support this marriage unless my older brother allows it. My personally feeling is that he is not fit to be my wali as he is not following the words of Allah. For this reason can i dis obey?

What I need to understand is if it’s my destiny to marry him should I sit back and do nothing? Is there any need to get a sheikh to speak to my oldest brother? Would it just work out somehow or does Allah give us the gift of a sane mind to be proactive and fight for what is right?

Unfortunately, this is the case with many Muslims these days. They are too concerned about tribalism and nationalism and forget about the most important quality for all Muslims and that is Islam and tawheed.

I’m sure your parents want the best for you but they if what you’ve told me is the complete story, then they are not making this judgement based on Islamic principles, but instead on nationalistic principles which are from the Shaytan.

Nationalism and tribalism and racism has done nothing but harm the Muslim world. We can see the tragedy in Somalia where everyone speaks the same language and practices the same faith. Yet they are killing each other because they are in different tribes.

I encourage you to talk to your parents and have other knowledgeable Muslims talk to them also.

I am reluctant to encourage you to disobey your wali (guardian) whom I presume is your father. Instead talk to him and bring him proof that what he is doing is evil and he is preventing you from what may be good.

But be careful. I do not know your situation clearly and it may be that your father sees something in this man that is not good and it may not just be nationalism. So I encourage you to talk to your family and really try to understand what they have against this man.

Put your trust in Allah and make dua to Him. Ask Him for guidance and seek the help of others in your area who are knowledgeable and familiar with the situation.

I do understand that my life is written and if Allah wills me to marry this man then that will happen. What I’m finding it hard to understand is what i do in the process. Will Allah just bring this man to me? I keep talking to my older brothers (my guardians as my dad has passsed away) and they keep telling me to stop going on and trust in Allah.

I can’t understand this please can you help me understand their point of view as it is making me extremley frustrated. I am 32 already and I’m worried that i will never get married and worse still will not be able to have children. They have never brought a suitor to me and I do not feel they even have he interest to do so.

Do you think i will be forgiven if i went out and got married against their will?

Please help

Thank you in advance

YOU are the one who believes a man created the earth because YOU believe God was a man (Jesus).

Muslims don’t believe anything like that.

You are at a serious disadvantage in this discussion because I know Christianity and you obviously don’t know anything about Islam. If you think Muslims believe a man created the earth, then you are starting off on the wrong foot.

Before going any further, I highly suggest you learn more about Islam. Whether you believe in Islam or not is irrelevant at this point; what’s important is that you at least understand what Islam is because right now you sound really uninformed.

Check out this link on Islamic monotheism. It’s a little technical but hopefully it’s not above your head. If it is, I have a free audio called “Islam Simplified” that explains the basics of Islam. If you want to learn about Islam so that we can have an informed discussion, I’ll be happy to email it to you for free.

Thank you for visiting Islamic Learning Materials.

I don’t have the time to give you a full, head-on answer. Furthermore, your comment is a little unclear (“Christian is what you really need to believe in.” What the heck does that mean?).

It seems as if you’re saying the Muslims on this blog should be Christian and that we should believe in God.

This displays a little ignorance on your part as Muslims DO believe in God. We just don’t believe He can be 3 different beings (father, son, holy ghost) all at the same time.

We also don’t believe God is a man (which Jesus, peace be upon him, was). We just can’t believe that God came out of a woman’s birth canal. We can’t believe that God defecated, urinated, and has DNA (which Jesus being human must have had).

I mean, if Jesus was God, that would mean that if archaeologists found some of his DNA, they could clone God. How crazy would that be? (Sounds like the makings of a good summer blockbuster, though).

Look Caleb, you’re more than welcome to visit ILM as much as you’d like. If you want to preach your beliefs, I’ll let you do that to a certain extent but be ready to defend them vigorously.

Because, I’m not gonna let you off easy.

But you are right…even in the English understanding, there is a slim difference between the two.

And Allah knows best.

Please state your question, and I’ll do my best to answer it.

Please continue to follow this series. It is a very important subject and I go into much further depth in this article and those that follow.

Yes, I know this subject can be confusing. I’ll give you a full response later today, Inshallah.

pls. enlighten me. i love Allah but i am confused as to why the human has to be accountable IF it was destined ANYWAY. Jazakhaal khair

Pls. leave a commment on this page.